結婚して長い年月が経つと、旦那さんの見た目に対する評価も変化してくることがある。ママたちは、旦那さんからの容姿評価についてママスタコミュニティで議論している。一部の旦那さんはママをベタ褒めする一方、中には辛辣なコメントをするものもいる。しかし、お互いさまの変化であると受け入れ、気にせず関係を続けるママも。夫婦関係に変化をもたらすために、ママたちは時には新たな姿で旦那さんを驚かせることも考えている。
How long has it been since you got married? Some people may have experienced their husbands praising their appearance initially, but then gradually stopped saying anything. On the other hand, there are also those whose husbands continue to praise their appearance even after many years of marriage. A mom in the Mamasta community asked a question like this:
“What does your husband say about your appearance?”
It’s unclear how long it has been since the poster got married. However, she might still be receiving compliments on her appearance from her husband. Or perhaps she posted out of curiosity about how other moms are being evaluated by their husbands regarding their appearance, whether positively or negatively. It seems like knowing how their husband feels about their current appearance based on his evaluations could be revealing. What about the moms in the Mamasta community? Let’s share their voices.
Used to be cute? Please don’t compare to the past!
“People say ‘you used to be cute’ LOL”
“At the beginning of our marriage, I was told I looked good. But now, after more than ten years, almost no comments.”
“He said, ‘I never thought you would get this fat…’ I mean, I never thought I would get this fat either!”
These seem to be comments from moms whose bodies and appearance have changed since the beginning of their marriage. As time passes, people age, and their style and body shape change. The husbands who straightforwardly assess the appearance of such moms can be quite rude! Especially for moms who have gained weight, it seems like they are receiving quite harsh comments. However, the comments from these moms do not exude a sense of desperation, suggesting that they may have developed a relationship where they are not bothered by blunt comments about their appearance.
“He says that I’ve gained weight. But instead of stressing out about dieting, I just smile and stay calm because he says that’s fine with him.”
There are also comments that, despite being harsh, can be felt as expressions of affection from their husbands. It may be because of the trust they have in each other.
Always praised excessively
“He always says, ‘You’re a class A beauty.'”
“Even when I’m sleeping on the sofa with my mouth wide open like an idiot, he says, ‘You had a cute face while sleeping with your mouth open.'”
“He always says I’m cute, but I know more than anyone that it’s not true. I appreciate him saying that though.”
It seems like these husbands shower their wives with excessive praise. If you are a newlywed, you might be receiving many compliments from your husband. On the other hand, for husbands who continue to praise their wives as “cute” even after several decades of marriage, you can feel their affection towards their wives. Their close relationship is quite apparent. Such comments have led to voices of lamentation like, “I have never been complimented by my husband since we got married.” What type of husband do you have?
Changes in appearance are a two-way street!?
“Monster, supernatural being”
“He calls me ‘Okame’ when I’m bare-faced.”
“He calls me ‘Cookboo’ when I’m cooking Chinese cuisine.”
Some husbands even assess their wives’ appearances by comparing them to non-human entities… Apart from this, there were also voices likening their slightly protruding bellies to cute characters. It may be that as married life continues, husbands end up overly scrutinizing all aspects of their wives, resulting in them being perceived as something beyond gender or human, but rather as deformed objects.
“I’ve been told that I’m different from before, but I responded by saying ‘It goes both ways.'”
While there might be admonitions such as “I wish you would pay more attention to your appearance” or “Be careful not to eat too much!” included in the comments from husbands, changes in appearance are a mutual thing. In such cases, why not try changing your hairstyle or dressing up to bring a new look to your appearance? Even a slight change might alter the way your husband looks at you with a “what’s different lately?” vibe.
As marriage life extends over time, it’s easy for the relationship between husband and wife to become routine. Adding some changes once in a while may spice up the relationship between spouses and make it more interesting.
Written by Eien Ando, Edited by Mikiko Ogino, Illustration by Yoriko Amagi