子どもが進学や就職で家を離れると、孤独を感じる母親が増えています。子供が巣立つ寂しさを和らげるために、働いたり、ペットを飼ったり、趣味を見つけたりする方法があります。仕事に専念することで収入も得られ、生活費や子供の学費に充てることができます。夫婦で趣味を共有することも楽しい時間を過ごすことができます。子供たちに心配をかけずに自分らしい第二の人生を楽しむことが大切です。
When children leave home for higher education or employment, the once lively household suddenly becomes quiet, and feelings of loneliness may arise. Currently, there are only two mothers left in the MamaStar community, and their lives seem to be filled with sighs.
“We have four children. This year, our last two youngest (twins) left home for university, and my husband and I got married. We get along well and have conversations, but we both feel down and lonely. It’s already tough enough, but how can we alleviate the sadness of our children leaving the nest?”
The author, who has four children, must have led a lively life. Since the youngest twins left home, their daily life seems to be calmer than before. Sometimes, they may think about their children. Knowing that their loved ones are no longer there can intensify feelings of loneliness. Trying to alleviate the loneliness, the signboard lady seeks advice from other mothers.
Feeling Lonely as Sons Leave the Nest. What Can I Do Now?
I Will Focus on Work
“Why don’t you go to work?”
“I’m in my 50s, and my children have left home to attend university. For the first two years, my husband and I were together, but I wanted to work in the city soon! Two years ago, I left my husband in the countryside and started living alone in Tokyo. The loneliness seemed to disappear somewhere. Every day is fresh and enjoyable.”
If the advertiser does not have a job or has only worked for a short period, it is recommended to spend free time on work. One mother mentioned that after her children left home, she lived alone and focused on work. She seems to have a purpose in her work and is enjoying her time. Additionally, working can provide income, which can be useful for living expenses and children’s tuition fees.
I Have Pets
“Both my husband and I love pets, so we don’t feel lonely at all.”
Many people seem to adopt pets when their children leave home or get married. Pets require care, but receiving their affection can be heartwarming, and watching the pets grow can be enjoyable. Having a set schedule for walking the dog can help maintain a consistent daily routine.
Find a Hobby
“Enjoy traveling or hobbies as much as you like.”
“Why not try starting something new outside? Finding a hobby will leave you with no time to feel lonely.”
Since the couple has more time together now, why not take some time to travel or pursue hobbies? If you have a common hobby, it can be fun to go shopping for equipment together. On the other hand, if you find different hobbies, sharing how much you enjoy that hobby with each other can be a pleasant experience.
“I recommend watching sports. My husband and I support the local soccer club, and there are families and older couples there, and we aspire to that retired lifestyle. When you go out, why not enjoy local delicious food as well.”
One mother mentioned that she enjoys watching sports with her husband. It was heartwarming to see even elderly couples enjoying their time at games. In the case of sports, if the match venue is far away, you can enjoy both the cheering and a trip. I also heard that many people participate in performances or live events as “oshikatsu”. Although their children were once their “favorites,” they can now meet new “favorites” and enjoy each day to the fullest.
Avoid Worrying Your Children
“That will only worry your children. Making friends, having hobbies, showing an active face is not only good for yourself but also for your children.”
“It’s your second life. Do as you please.”
When children leave home, the previous liveliness fades, and a calm feeling sets in, potentially leading to loneliness. You may feel sad when you realize the reduced amount of cooking or laundry without your children around. However, as time passes, you may become accustomed to this lifestyle and realize that you have time for yourself and things you want to do. Now that you are alone, focus on finding enjoyable activities rather than sharing loneliness. By doing so, your future life will become brighter, and both you and your husband will feel more excited. Seeing parents enjoy like this, children will surely be happy and relieved. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the two of you could become the kind of couple your children wish for?
Author: Komomo Editor: Moe Ikegami Illustrator: Ponko