小学生になると朝の準備に慣れ、自分でできることも増える。ママたちの間では、朝ごはんの支度は親の役目だという声が多いが、水筒の準備は子どもに任せることもある。一方で、朝の準備を全部サポートしているママもいるが、子供の成長に合わせて親のサポートを減らしていくことが大切。朝ごはんは親が準備してあげることも喜ばれる。親と子供の関係や個性に合わせて、朝の準備のバランスを見つけることが大事だろう。
When children become elementary school students and establish a daily routine of going to school, the time it takes for them to get ready in the morning may decrease compared to their kindergarten and nursery school days. Additionally, as they progress into the middle grades of elementary school, children may become more accustomed to morning preparations and start doing things on their own. Some households may gradually reduce parental support as well. A mother in the Mamasuta community shared the following post:
“Around the fourth grade, children can usually do things on their own. They can make simple breakfasts themselves, prepare their own water bottles, and even groom themselves in the morning. How much should parents help? Do you think preparing breakfast and water bottles is the parent’s responsibility?”
The poster has a daughter who is in fourth grade. She is the type who wants to do things herself, and sometimes she even prepares her own breakfast when she feels like it. The poster is unsure of how much support to provide to her increasingly independent daughter and sought advice in the Mamasuta community. While she believes that doing too much for her child is not good, she also thinks it’s not ideal to make the child do everything on their own. The voices of mothers in the Mamasuta community are shared in response.
Preparing breakfast is mainly the parent’s responsibility
“I mostly do everything except breakfast. If I feel like it, I’ll help with the water bottle.”
“It’s a given that I prepare breakfast.”
“I prepare breakfast. When I was a child, I used to prepare it myself, but eating breakfast alone was lonely.”
Many of the voices shared by mothers emphasized that preparing breakfast is the parent’s responsibility. One mother believes that even though children reach an age where they can prepare things themselves, breakfast preparation should still be the parent’s duty. Another mother, who felt lonely eating breakfast alone when she was a child, also considers breakfast to be the parent’s responsibility. However, there were also voices advocating for letting children handle some of the preparations, saying things like “If it’s cooking without using fire, I let the child do it” and “I prepare breakfast, but the child cleans up and wipes the table.”
Children can handle preparing their water bottles
“I make the water bottle. I let them bake bread occasionally. I also give it to the second grader as an extra.”
“I let my child make the water bottle, have been doing it since first grade. I prepare breakfast. When I let them do it themselves, they only eat what they like.”
“Both the water bottle and breakfast are done by the child.”
Some mothers responded that they let their children handle one of the tasks mentioned in the original post, which was preparing the water bottle. If the child can take a drink from the fridge and pour it into the bottle without spilling, then it’s okay to entrust them with this task. However, depending on the type of water bottle, some may be difficult for children to put the lid seal on. In such cases, the parent can handle the lid while letting the child do the rest. Giving children even small responsibilities and praising them when they accomplish them can change their mindset.
Some mothers still support all morning preparations
“Even with upper grade and middle school students, I still prepare breakfast and water bottles. Am I being overprotective?”
“I bring them from the futon to the living room, prepare their clothes, serve breakfast, prepare water bottles, and do everything from start to finish.”
“I cook and prepare the water bottle. I even hand clothes to my sixth-grade child every day. I remind them to brush their teeth and hurry up every day.”
“I do everything. Everyone is amazing. Maybe I should try letting them do the water bottle.”
Some mothers shared that they are still providing full support for their children’s morning preparations. Some mothers who had not questioned their support until then, may have started reevaluating after reading the post by the original poster. While parents often tend to see their children as still needing assistance, children in the middle grades of elementary school are at an age where they can do many things on their own. For mothers who are doing everything, it might be a good time to reevaluate their support.
However, there may be children who are not good at mornings or preparing themselves. If parents force all morning preparations on such children, it could be difficult for both the parent and the child. The key point to review is the cases where the children can do things on their own but the parent ends up doing everything. Since children’s growth and independence vary, it might be good to assess based on the child’s personality and gradually reduce parental support. In the meantime, it might be nice to prepare breakfast for them as a way for them to feel the parent’s love through a delicious meal.
Written by Eien Ando, Edited by Miho Arimura, Illustrated by Ponko