子供を連れてママ友の家に遊びに行ったり、自分の家に子供を招いたりする際、どこまで子供の行動を制限するべきかについて悩むママたちのエピソードが紹介されました。子供が物を汚してしまったり、壊してしまったりするのは避けられないことであり、叱り過ぎると場が白けてしまうこともあるということが示唆されました。一方で、2歳の子供の行動はなかなか制御できず、親も悪戦苦闘している様子が描かれています。各ママの基準が異なる中、どこまで許容するかは個々の判断が必要であると述べられました。
Mothers who have fun playing with their children and chatting together. Have you ever been invited to a friend’s house with your children? Or maybe you have invited friends over with their children. However, there may be times when the invited children spill snacks or juice on the floor. They might break toys as well. But scolding too much as the host can make things awkward too. How much restriction do you set for unpredictable children’s behavior?
“I think there are times when you take your child to a friend’s house to play. Where do you draw the line in stopping your child? And if you were the one inviting, how much can you tolerate? For example, touching books with dirty hands, stepping on toys, or wandering around while eating.”
On this occasion, the poster seems to have been on the receiving end. The poster thought in her mind, “I’m not angry, but could you please wipe your hands after touching snacks more often! The spills are serious! You’re stepping on toys! You’re moving around too freely!” She wonders if she’s overly nervous and posted about it. However, she seems to have some understanding, saying, “It’s okay because he’s still 2 years old and small.”
In my opinion, it’s out
Each mother may have a different line between what’s safe and what’s out. So what do the mothers in the Mama Star community think is out? Some mothers shared their experiences and commented.
“All of it is unacceptable. I can’t even allow kids to come into my house with bare feet!”
“None at all. I would even caution my own child if they were doing it at home. When we gathered at my parents’ house after rebuilding, I saw my 2-year-old niece grabbing food with her hands, then rubbing them against the wall, and I decided never to invite her to our house.”
Many mothers agree with the poster’s concerns. Mothers are not comfortable with having their personal belongings touched with dirty hands or having food spilled while eating. No one wants hands sticky with food touching anything other than the dining table. If food gets on toys or books, it’s hard to clean, and scolding a friend’s child without reason is not easy. It’s difficult to scold a child for having sticky hands and holding onto a wet cloth, as they could not understand the situation. It might be hard to say “stop that!” with a cloth in hand. Some may have to suppress the urge and say, “This is too much for inviting someone over. Don’t worry about it.”
Is it understandable if they’re 2 years old? Because they’re in the middle of training
It can be said that 2-year-olds have a hard time distinguishing between good and bad things. So tolerating some things may be inevitable. Some commented that you have to turn a blind eye to some extent.
“2-year-olds do crazy things one after another, so it’s difficult to keep saying ‘don’t get dirty.’ If you keep chasing after them, you can’t even have a conversation, and you don’t know why you’re meeting each other, so the host needs some preparation.”
“It’s understandable if they’re 2. We’re in the middle of training them. People have different customs at others’ homes. If you can’t tolerate that, it’s better not to invite children. I don’t want to see guests frequently admonishing or scolding children. Unpleasant feeling.”
The poster couldn’t bring herself to scold her own child and couldn’t pay much attention. She says, “I felt like hitting her when she went into the bedroom and climbed onto the bed.” She might not have been so calm and must have been filled with anger and despair. Indeed, if there were food spills on the bed when going to sleep at night, the relaxed feeling would disappear.
However, the poster also enjoyed watching her child chat with friends and play. Mixed with frustration, a sense of helplessness may have emerged. When inviting friends, it might have been helpful to draw a line between what’s acceptable and unacceptable within herself. It might have been helpful to subtly point out what’s out of line. Her child is only 2 years old. Parenting is still ongoing. As they grow older, what’s unacceptable may change. It might be beneficial to think about setting a “boundary” from now on when such situations arise.
Written by Saki Oka, Edited by Miyabi, Illustrated by Ponko