将来子どもが結婚して孫が生まれる可能性がある。ママたちは孫をほしいと思うか、しないかの質問があった。多くのママたちは、子どもの幸せが最優先であり、孫が生まれたら喜ぶが孫の世話役を避けたいと考えている。一方で、孫を通じて子どもの楽しみや元気を感じることもあり、子どもたちの意思を尊重し、結婚や子供の有無を選択させるべきだという意見もある。ママたちは子どもたちと旦那さんとの時間を大切にしていることが明らかになった。
If children get married, there is a possibility that grandchildren may be born in the future. Moms may imagine such a future. A mom from Mama Star Community had this question.
“Do you all want grandchildren? Or do you not want them?”
Although grandchildren are often said to be cute, whether or not grandchildren are born depends on the children. Even if moms want grandchildren, it may not happen. So, do moms really want grandchildren?
Not a strong desire for grandchildren. What are the reasons?
Because children’s happiness is the top priority
“As long as the children and their spouses live happily, that’s enough for me.”
While moms would be happy when grandchildren are born, their priority seems to be the happiness of their children. Having grandchildren may indicate that the children and their spouses have built a happy home. On the other hand, if the couple’s relationship deteriorates after grandchildren are born, the family may fall apart. Moms strongly dislike the idea of their children going through hardship and unhappiness.
Avoiding the role of caretaker for grandchildren
“I’ve worked hard raising my own children, so I don’t want to raise another. Even if I have grandchildren, meeting once a year is enough, and being asked to take care of them is not appealing.”
“I work, so it’s difficult to take care of or babysit grandchildren. I also don’t want to be financially relied upon. ”
When grandchildren are born, there may be times when children ask moms to take care of their grandchildren. However, some moms may have jobs and find it difficult to take care of grandchildren. Additionally, some moms feel that raising their own children is already fulfilling enough. Taking care of grandchildren not only involves spending time but also financial responsibilities. Some moms do not strongly desire grandchildren due to the financial burden grandchildren may bring.
Want to prioritize time with husband
“Once the children are independent, having time just with my husband is enough for me.”
“When children leave the nest, all time and money should be spent together as a couple.”
Until the children become independent, moms have been raising children with their husbands. They have spent time and money for their children, so now they want to prioritize spending time with their husbands. It seems like they want to enjoy a life as a couple without children, going on trips or having meals together.
Although not strongly desiring grandchildren
“I don’t have a strong desire for them. I wonder what kind of child they would be? Would they resemble us? These thoughts cross my mind.”
“I think my mother would be very happy if she saw her great-grandchild.”
While not strongly desiring the birth of grandchildren, moms sometimes imagine what it would be like when grandchildren are born. It could be enjoyable to think about if the grandchildren resemble their children or maybe even have some traits similar to themselves. Also, for a mom’s parents, they would become great-grandparents, and they would want to meet their great-grandchild.
Why do moms want grandchildren?
Want their children to experience the joy of raising children
“I’m sure grandchildren would be cute, and I want to hold a baby once again. I have some concerns about raising children, but I want my children to experience the act of raising children.”
“I want to hold a baby. I want to loosely experience raising children again. If my children can experience the happiness of having a child, it would make me happy too.”
Moms seem to want grandchildren because they want to experience raising children again. They may want to hold a baby or change diapers, but without the same burden as when they raised their own children. Behind this desire is the fact that moms themselves have enjoyed raising children. While there were challenging moments in raising children, they find joy in watching their children grow. They want their children to experience the same happiness they felt in raising children.
May receive energy from grandchildren
“I want to see grandchildren. I’m just getting older and heading towards death, right? So, watching children who have a bright future gives me energy.”
When grandchildren are born, moms are likely at a certain age. While moms have their own hobbies and interests, there are things they may no longer be able to do physically compared to their younger years. Amidst feeling the effects of aging, having grandchildren, who represent a bright future, may give moms energy.
Want to respect the children’s thoughts
“If they decide not to have children, that’s okay.”
“If the children want it, then it’s fine. It’s their life after all.”
Whether they get to see grandchildren or not depends on the children’s decisions. There is a possibility that the children may not get married, which means moms may not have grandchildren. However, moms do not express a strong desire to see grandchildren. This is because they understand that such a statement could impose significant pressure on their children, potentially depriving them of the freedom to choose their own path in life. It is important for moms to respect their children’s choices and allow them to lead their lives according to their own wishes, even if that means not getting married or having children.
Written by Komo, Edited by Kunel, Illustrated by Ponko