友人の甥っ子の写真やビデオを毎週送られる女性が、興味がないのに困惑している。友人は甥っ子が可愛いから送ってくれるが、迷惑に感じることもある。他人に自分の子供の写真を送られるのは嫌な気持ちだ。このような問題に直面する際、適切な対処方法が必要。無理に関心を持つ必要はなく、自分の意見を尊重することが大切。親がどのように感じるかも考慮し、適切な行動を心掛けることがポイント。
Some people tend to overly love their nieces and nephews. On the other hand, there are also those who openly declare that they don’t like their nieces and nephews very much. It may not only be a problem with the nieces and nephews themselves, but also the relationships with their parents, siblings, and partners could have an influence.
A nephew who is adored by friends. But what about others?
The author, a friend in her 20s who is single and also finds her nephew adorable, seems to have worried about her friends’ children and sought advice from other mothers.
“My friend frequently sends me photos and videos of her nephew (probably around 2 years old). I initially reacted with ‘how cute’ but gradually started feeling annoyed. Am I being petty?”
The author mentioned that she doesn’t dislike children and finds them cute, but she doesn’t have a particular interest in children who are not related to her. She says that it’s difficult for her friends who think their nephews are the cutest in the world to impose that idea on her. However, she also expresses her concern about ignoring her friends as she likes them and wants to remain friends with them.
This nephew seems to be the first grandchild of her friend’s parents, so there is likely a fever of adoration for the cute nephew within the family. While this is enjoyable in itself, wouldn’t it be nice for friends to participate as well?
“If it were a friend’s child (though it’s annoying when it’s frequent), but it’s a nephew!” To the author, he’s a completely unknown person.”
“Why don’t you seal it properly?”
These comments come from mothers who understand the feeling of wanting to boast about their own children. Even such mothers seem not to understand what their friends are doing.
The author replied with just one stamp or joked, “You don’t need to send so many, haha,” but her friends continue to unabashedly send because they say, “Sorry, this is too cute not to share!”
Even if it didn’t spread on social media, it wouldn’t feel good.
Furthermore, the author posed the following question:
“How would mothers worldwide feel if they sent photos of their children to their mother-in-law’s friends? Would they not care much about it?”
Even if it doesn’t spread on social media, those photos will be sent without permission to a third party who is presumably the author. While friends may trust the author not to spread them around, when it happens every week, it’s a different story.
“I wouldn’t want to be that child’s father. I can’t believe my photos and videos have spread to family and acquaintances. It may not be intentional, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.”
As a mother, the author received many negative comments. Friends probably have no ulterior motives in sending photos of the cute nephew, and since you’re single, you may not understand the feelings of parents… If you talk to acquaintances with children about this, they all advise you to stop!”
I want to talk! I want you to know! Let’s promote our favorite charms!
It’s likely that your friends don’t have ill intentions and are just expressing their own thoughts. Perhaps it’s the role of a friend like a cartel to end it here. A friend who had done something similar in the past offered the following suggestion:
“I didn’t comment on all the photos I received, but when I sent lots of photos saying ‘This is the family dog!’ they stopped sending photos (laughs). Why not try sending back.cat photos you find on social media and say, ‘I really like this one recently, please take a look!'”
Being forced into something you’re not interested in is not unusual. If you were to give a name to your friend’s actions, it would be “dealer stalking.” It’s best to resist by retaliating against bullying.
However, it seems the author has already done something similar before.
“I tried to send back a cute child I found on social media, but I was ignored (laughs).”
If the other person ignores you, then it’s okay to ignore them too, but it seems the advertiser is kind. Since you need to click on the URL once, it might be more efficient to send the image itself (of course, within the bounds of personal use).
To not lose to the enthusiasm of your friends saying, “Isn’t this cute? Take a look!” it’s best to have something you can passionately recommend. Do you have any recommendations like idols, mascots, anime, historical figures, etc.? How about posting enthusiastically every week, saying something like, “This week’s ○○ kun? This side profile angle is irresistible.” If you can’t pass on your friend’s nephew’s photos, you could say, “He’s cute too, but this is also lovely!” If your friend’s reaction isn’t good, say, “I’m sorry, this is the end,” and keep saying, “It’s really lovely, so please let me send it!” As time goes on, the author may find it fun to convey their favorite charms.
Think about how parents would feel if their child’s photos were sent to others without permission, and try to make them understand how difficult it is to be constantly forced into something you’re not interested in. If your friend truly wants to continue being friends, they will surely realize all this after you’ve done it. However, if he still doesn’t understand, it might be better to consider distancing yourself as a last resort.
Writer: Asako Suzuki Editor: Masaya Illustrator: Maneko Nakayama